Mom’isms Put to Bed: Your Mother’s Warnings Mythbusted!

Posted on 12 23, 2008 under The Manual, Uncategorized by reviewdad | Comments

Mom Knows BestMom knows a lot. And she knows you. The combination of those two things makes her THE go to resource in you life for all of the info you don’t know or your partner is unsure about — how to choose a good pineapple (Answer: smell it), whether you can refreeze chicken (Answer: No), whether you were ever vaccinated against Rubella (Answer: probably)…

Yeah, she’s pretty smart but Mom doesn’t know EVERYTHING and she’s propagated some long-standing myths who’s time has come to be debunked.

Noodad.com is busting some of your mom’s warnings – we call ‘em “Mom’isms.” But because we’re in the business of providing useful info applicable to your role as sage molder of young minds, we’re also telling you what you should be telling your kids…

Mom’ism: She told you that if you swallowed your gum, it’d take 7 years for your body to digest it. Truth: The digestive system can’t break down gum and it will pass through you within 24 hours – just like yesterday’s burrito. What to Tell Your Kid: Nothing. If the only alternative to swallowing one’s gum is sticking it under the seat or spitting it out on the sidewalk, go ahead and ingest it.

Mom’ism: You have to wait an hour after you eat before going swimming or you’ll cramp up (and drown…some moms tell a more severe version of the story than others!). Truth: You’re no more likely to cramp up during swimming 10 minutes after eating as you are an hour after. What to Tell Your Kid: They’re likely to feel better if they wait awhile before doing laps…that said, don’t worry about them.

Mom’ism: Cracking your knuckles will cause arthritis. Truth: Arthritis is caused by a host of factors…mostly hereditary and related to other aspects of your health but not knuckle cracking. What to Tell Your Kid: Excessive cracking of knuckles or pulling fingers to stretch out the joints can cause you to lose grip strength. Also, it weirds girls out on dates…

Mom’ism: Chocolate causes zits. Truth: Flat out false. There’s no correlation. The biggest factors that cause breakouts are stress and skin irritation like the kind caused by excessive washing. What to Tell Your Kid: Chill out, get some sleep (sleep reduces stress) and get them some mild cleansers…ReviewDad’s mom was a big believer in Neutrogena. The stuff works wonders. Beyond that, show them your class picture from sophomore year – they’ll feel better about themselves instantly!

Mom’ism: You lose 40-50% of your heat through your head – that’s why you need to wear a hat in the winter. Truth: You lose heat proportional to the area exposed to cold air…the head isn’t special. Per square inch, you lose just as much heat through any other part of your body. What to Tell Your Kid: Ears belong on heads. Put on a hat or theirs will freeze off. And being the kid at school with no ears is worse than having hat-head in 1st period French class.

Mom’ism: Coffee stunts your growth. Truth: Again, like with the Chocolate/zits myth, flat out false. There’s no correlation between coffee drinking at a young age and interrupted growth. There are plenty of reasons to keep your kids off of Mocachinnos as long as possible including caffeine addiction and blowing through their allowance refilling their Starbucks cards but the risk that it might keep them from getting that basketball scholarship to State is not one of them. What to Tell Your Kid: Warn them that once they suckle at the sweet, sweet nectar of the java goddess Caffiena, they’ll be hooked for life unable (and unwilling) to defy her siren song.

Mom’ism: Standing in front of the microwave is bad for you. Truth: The dark screen inside the door of your microwave blocks any microwaves from reaching you. Also, microwaves are actually radio waves – a harmless kind of radiation that only heats things up – not causes cancer. What to Tell Your Kid: Nothing. But while your on the subject of do’s and dont’s involving the microwave, tin foil is a no-no (tell the story of how that Chunky bar experiment in mom’s new Litton back in ‘85 didn’t turn out so well) and that anything sticking to the walls and ceiling after their bowl of past goes POP is their responsibility to clean up.

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