Is getting your baby’s ears pierced an act of child abuse?

Posted on 11 09, 2006 under Master Debaters by Noodad | Comments

438762_nikkiLast week at the mall I saw a kid, couldn't be more than a year old, getting her ear's pierced. She screamed bloody murder the whole time but it was ok—although she didn't like the pain, her parents were very happy. 

Getting your ear's pierced hurts. Yet I frequently see little kids with their ears pierced. Clearly, the decision to pierce is being made by the parents, not the kids themselves.

Which brings us to this week's question… 

Question : Is getting your baby's ears pierced an act of child abuse?

There are some topics that seem to fall into the consensus category: drunk driving is bad, guns kill people, Transformers are better than GoBots. But that only covers less than 1% of the decisions you and your spouse make towards the upbringing of your kids. The majority of issues tend to fall more in the gray area.

Here at Noodad.com, we take pride in delivering important advice for dads. But we realize that some of our advice is subjective. The collected readership surely have things to add and unique perspectives to contribute. That is why we are pleased to continue our weekly feature called the Master Debaters Question of the Week.

We encourage everyone (men and women) to weigh in—even if it is a simple one word answer. We hope a lively discussion can develop.

 

 


 

 

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Viewing 34 Comments

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    I definately think its a choice that the child should make (so long as the parent as guardian doesnt have some major issue against piercings themselves). This way the little tyke has an oportunity to learn about choices and consequences in a fairly obvious way.
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    YES.YES.YES.YES.YES.YES.YES.YES.YES.YES.YES.YES.YES.YES.
    Let\'s not even dive into the discussion of how RIDICULOUS these babies look with the earrings afterwards.
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    Yeah, I have seen that too and my DH and I have discussed it. I think if they are old enough to ask for it themselves, they can get it.

    Otherwise it is just parading your kid like Jon Benet
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    That\'s pretty much what we have decided as well. The child has to be old enough to come and request it. Making choices and learning to live with them.

    Now I wouldn\'t go so far as to call it abuse so much as just bad parenting.
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    Iggy, My belief is something like letting your kid watch an R rated movie when they are 10 is \"Bad Parenting\". Having someone puncture your skin and make you cry in pain before you even know what \"accessorizing\" means, is abuse.
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    Though I dont agree with the practice of getting babies ears peirced, I wouldnt call it abuse. Their are groups that do it for cultural or religious reasons.

    But in our country its pain for the sake of vanity. I was discussing this with a friend and she pointed out that if you look at another point of view, a person with different beliefs could argue that circumcision is the same thing. We also do this for cultural and religious reasons. There is no real medical need for it, but it is accepted practice, and never really looked upon as abuse

    So I would basically say that if it was my daughter I would wait for her to make the decision herself. But as far as other parents are concerned I cant say that I would condemn a practice that is widely accepted.
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    I think it's child abuse to circumsise your child, there is actually a whole group of people who call that Genital Mutilation. I know that wasn't your point though but I thought I would add that, lol.
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    Apart from cultural or religious reasons, there are atleast some medical reasons that point towards the decision of circumcision. There are no such reasons for ear piercing.

    Otherwise you would be able to go to the mall and get yourself circumcised at Snipping Pagoda!
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    I wouldn\'t do it, but I won\'t go so far to call it abuse.

    A Mom from my area was recently arrested for public intoxication at a local Mickey-D\'s. She had driven her kids there. That\'s criminal and that\'s abuse.
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    Smacking your kids around is abuse
    Leaving them unattended with the potential for harm is abuse. Calling them names,making them feel bad is abuse. Please don\'t put a prick to skin with pain that lasts a minute abuse.
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    Agreed. To me \"abuse\" is excessive physical or emotional force or systematic, sustained, intentional cruelty resulting in immediate and physical/psychological trauma.

    Getting your ears pierced is painful, sure. But no more painful than scraping your knees or getting your finger caught in a door or any of the usual childhood injuries one sustains.

    As long as you\'re not telling your kid that she\'s has to get her ears pierced because she\'s bad inside, then it\'s just another experience.

    That said, I wouldn\'t do it.

    First of all, I think it\'s kind of a Mediterranean/Eastern cultural thing, and since we\'re about as WASP as it gets, it just ain\'t us.

    Second, I\'ve always thought of body modification as something that should be undertaken by sane, consenting adults. Are you gonna make your kid get a \"Thug Life\" tat? Probably not. Same should go pierced ears.
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    Oh God... no post-editing function?! This is gonna get ugly! :roll
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    LOL
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    But scraping your knees is an accident. Piercing ears is a conscious decision by the parents to afflict pain on their kids who have no say just for vanity reasons.

    From Dictionary.com:
    a‧buse  /v. əˈbyuz; n. əˈbyus/
    –verb (used with object)
    1. to use wrongly or improperly; misuse: to abuse one\'s authority.

    Sure, hitting your kids is worse. But just because one type of abuse is worse doesnt make the lesser type less than abuse.
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    My wife didn\'t have her ears pierced when she was young, and was frustrated with her parents because she had to do it as an adult. She intends to pierce our daughter\'s ears in the first year...

    I know the kid won\'t remember it, and it won\'t be a big deal to her... any more than a birth, the inevitable falls/stitches etc. as any normal child.

    As a teenager, I pierced my own ears with a safety pin during my punker phase... so I don\'t think it\'s that big of a deal. 8-)

    thoughts?
    :p
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    I had to stop Baby A from yanking out my own earrings. Can\'t imagine how quickly she would have ripped out her own...then swallowed or choked on the earrings...then needed plastic surgery to repair her earlobes....

    Shoot, it\'s a good day when she doesn\'t (a) move a chair to the counter and eat of out of the sugar bowl, (2) remove the pins from the bottom door hinges, setting 100-year-old, 50-pound doors askew over her head, (3) tear the air-conditioning vents out of the floor and stick arms or toys in the vents. Why would I give her one more hazard? I already need five eyes and eight arms.

    - L
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    I think that everyone is taking this way too far, I mean ABUSE. When we take them to get their shots, is that abuse too? When my daughter had her\\\'s done, she was asleep and didn\\\'t even cry. They are a part of her so she never touches them. When I took her the other day to get her shots, I felt terrible having to hold her down and watch the look on her face like what are you letting them do to me? Getting her ear\\\'s pierced, getting shots. She won\\\'t remember either one. Is either one abuse? I think not.
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    I don't vaccinate my kid for that reason. I would never force my kid to do anything painful. I also think vaccines are bad for your body.
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    so is pertussis
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    Piercing ears is not abuse. For those of you who have had your ears pierced at a young age, you may agree with me.
    I got my ears pierced when I was four. I was rewarded with a slushee. The slushee was all that I remember. When my folks did it, it was more of a cultural thing.
    My parter is from a very American and very Conservative family. They think that ear piercings are a sign of adulthood and if a girl had her ears pierced too young she may be \"loose\" or wild or something.
    This is something that is either cosmetic or cultural.
    It\'s not that big of a deal for people to get heated over.
    It\'s not abuse.
    It\'s just a matter of personal parental choice.
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    My girls both had their ears pierced at 3 months. They cried only for a minute. It is easier to take care of them when they are young, and my eldest didn\'t even know what they were until she was 2 year old. I don\'t know any >18yo female that doesn\'t have them done, so why not do it and get it over with. My boys (if any) will not have them pierced. Most people commenting against it are speaking with no experience. Abuse? common...
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    I had my daughter\'s pierced at 4 months because I hated it when I had my aunt pierce mine with ice cubes and a so called sterile (used a lighter to burn it clean) needle. I would never want my daughter to go thru what I did and I know since she will be alot like me....hehe...she definitely will enjoy them without having to remember the pain of having it done.

    This is the ONLY thing I have done or will ever do that causes intentional pain. Since the pros are so quick about it, I didn\'t feel bad at all having it done by them, but I did feel bad about her very short crying after and I questioned myself for awhile, but this type of action would never happen again so for a once in a lifetime thing, I really don\'t see the big deal. Also, she has hardly any hair and having the earrings really helped from people calling her a him:)

    Weather she will have wanted the chance to make up her own mind, well, she\'ll tell me when she is older but I believe she will have wanted them and like that I spared her the pain that her friends will have to go thru:)
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    i think it is sad when babies have their ears peirced. it does not make them cuter at all. it almost looks like the parents dont think they are cute enough. babies are adorable how god mad them, not to mention it does hurt. if they want their ears peirced when they are older thats different and they will know why their ears hurt. i think it is abuse not to mention the posts that will irritate while they lie down .leave the baby alone ,she is cute enough.
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    I am thinking about getting my baby\'s ears done.I didn\'t get my first daughter\'s done because I felt that she should be given the chance I had and decide for her self. But really now that I think about it I wish that I had just gotten hers done also.
    I have a step daughter that has hers done. She has never had a problem with them at all. She got them the same day as her first shots so she was going to be cranky anyway. But what I remember from mine is pain and worst yet I didn\'t take care of them. I had problems with them for a long time. I was in the first grade and wanted them because I saw the other girls who had cute earrings. Which will happen to every girl sooner or latter in life. But will happen.
    Now I look at my step daughter who has them and how happy she is and she never plays with them. And is aware that they are there. She is 2 and I have known her since she was 9 months.
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    Piercing a child's ears when they are young is the best time to pierce them for 2 reassons.

    1. If they are a baby or a young toddler, then they usually have no idea what you are going to do to them, so normally they won't be scared. Now if they are 5 or 6, they know it might hurt and they will be sweating and tense. But for babies, it's just the pierce and that's it.

    2. Recent studies have shown that when a person gets their ears pierced older than, that can affect the way their brain functions. I don't remember exactly why or what, but when a child becomes 3, it grows a certain type of tissue in their ear lobes that when it is pierced, it could affect thier brain.

    So I'm all for it.
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    I had my ears pierced when I was 3 months old and i am not mad or frustrated with my parents becuase of it. I love my earings and i dont remember that 5 minutes of my life where i might have cried a little bit. Im sure the put a bottle in my mouth and it was forgot about in seconds. If you want to get your childs ears pierced i say go ahead and do it, if they decide they dont want them when they are 5 they can always take them out right?? nothing is making them keep them. I would NEVER call it abuse, people who say that is abuse are just sick and obviously must have had a bad childhood themself or something like that. I think that those people should stop making other parents feels so bad for wanting to do something as simple as get their childs ears pierced. That being said, i had my daughters ears pierced today and she didnt even leave out a peep, if it didnt hurt her how can you call that abuse?
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    Katie, What if your parents got you a nose ring at 3 months old. They decided what they thought was cute and realized that if you didnt like it when you grew up, you could just remove it. The issue isnt necessarily the pain it causes, it is the decision made by your parents.

    Di you decide to get your daughter's ears pierced or did she ask for them herself?
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    i cant believe there is actually a discussion about this! there are parents out there beating their children, starving them, neglecting them, and sexually abusing them, and some of you people are concerned about their ears being pierced! this is ridiculous, ear piercing isnt even in the same category as abuse. i doubt a child is going to need therapy over their ear piercing abuse, than one who has been beatin. i have no problem with people not agreeing to pierce their childs ears until they want it,but dont ever refer to this as abuse. i would love to see how many people who have had their ears pierced as a baby or toddler think that that was abuse!
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    I witnessed a baby's ears being pierced yesterday and I found it very distressing. I actually left the shop and came back later to tell the shop what I thought. I then phoned their head office and told them how it made me feel as a shopper and I was not the only person who thought it was wrong as I heard another person commenting while I was there.

    Whether it's for religion or vanity, it should still be a personal decision by that person when they are older. Who are we to know if they want to have holes in their ears for the rest of their life?

    Also, what if the baby pulled the earrings and damaged their ears?
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    OK I really agree with this comment! I for one don't want to see people hurting there kids for the hell of it. So I don't think stores should be piercing ears of children or babies. That sort of situation would give me a panic attack and would ruin my day because idiots want to do this stupid stuff in public. I am going to complain if I ever see that as well. After i stop crying. And yes I have a kid no her ears are not pierced and no she isn't vaccinated. So I have never had to witness some one hurt my kid on purpose, if they did I would probaly lose it.
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    if your so against it, then maybe you shouldnt have a picture of a little girl with her ears pierced up on your site.. and your ridiculous for thinking that's child abuse. kids dont like shots, dentist, or hair cuts.. is that a form a child abuse?
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    Okay, ears being pierced sure it's a personal decision, it's a personal decision to make the choice to be vaccinated it's a personal decision to try to walk for the first time. It's even a personal decision to stick that nummy looking thing of the ground in our mouths. But lucky for kids they have a mommy and/or a daddy that can steer them in the right directions. They are the ones making the decision when the kid is too young to make one with what is best for them.
    I personally am glad to have had my ears pierced when I was too young to remember... I even took them out and almost had the holes grow back in and FREAKED that I would have to go have someone stick a needle in my ear to get them pierced again. Then I got older and got a second piercing.... that barely hurt, and what hurt worse was the fact I didn't take good enough care of them and it got infected... yeah let's let the 5 year old decide.
    You either get your kids ears pierced when they are too young to remember and too young to protest the care it takes to keep them clean.... or you wait till they are 18 and they get them done themselves.
    I for one plan on getting it done to me daughter for her first birthday.

    Oh and I must comment on the circumcision one, the only reason to get it done is for personal reasons!! The 'medical' reason is because some parents were to lazy to properly wipe there child. So stuff got stuck and festered. So if your jewish you do it for that obvious reason, but most do it because they prefer the look.
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    why do little children have look like an adult? I definitely think that piercin less than 10 years old cild is wong! Moreover the earpiercings just hampers kid's plays.
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    I just got my daughters ears pierced today. She is 5 1/2 months old. She will never remember getting them done, and I don't think it was even painful. She was not happy with me not letting her move her head, but as soon as they pierced them I turned her towards me and she immediately stopped crying and smiled. She cried way less getting them pierced then she did getting shots at the doctors. Not to mention since she is young and doesn't know where her ears are she will not be playing with them so the risk of infection is lower. I also bought 14k gold earing which lowers the chance of infection and I plan on being responsible and cleaning them everyday. I also got the okay from her doctor. If she decides she doesn't want them when she is older I would have no problem with her taking them out.
 

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    April 19, 2008 at 6:31 pm

    [...] parents feels so bad for wanting to do something as simple as get their childs ears pierced. ...http://www.noodad.com/wp/master_debaters/is_getting_your_babys_ears_pierced_an_act_of_child_abuseWhy do ...

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